THE POOP DOGS

THE POOP DOGS
POOP! IS A DOG BLOG. IT'S A BLOG DEVOTED TO DOG STORIES, DOG TAILS, HISTORY LESSONS, FUTURE PREDICTIONS OF DOGHOOD, AND FINALLY, THE ONGOING COMMENTARIES OF THE POOP DOGS!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

DOGS OF THE FUTURE (WATER DOGS!):



THE SUB-ATOMIC SUBMARINE DOGS

     In the future things start to get strange.  Around the time period where our earth is so polluted that we humans take to living under big glass domes with filtered air, some smart dogs begin to grow mechanical fins and go back to the water from whence they came.  Sort of like a platypus—but not.  This is living proof of the Theory of Evolution and dogs seem to adapt much better than their human counterparts.

     To paint a better picture of this mess, let me first describe the situation we humans will get ourselves into.  In the future, before we successfully colonize the Moon, Mars and Jupiter, our ozone layer will become completely destroyed and our grotesquely cluttered air will basically become our new ozone layer, because it’s really, really dirty!  Oh yes, we will have a few conveniences, like being transported from one place to another on movable sidewalks, food pills, conversing with friends and family in holographic form, and those big glass domes will definitely protect us from the dangerous laser beams shot out of evil-minded alien spacecrafts.  (Those would probably be from the “Grays,” not the “Clears.”) 

     You see, in this future time, we will have run out of electricity and other invisible energy sources that I don’t understand. The amateur human mindset will just sort of revert backwards, since most of our scientists will have choked to death on the bad air.  These humans will say, “To hell with creating solutions!  Let’s just go back to burning coal.  We did it before and we can do it again.  Coal is good for us.  It makes our teeth all charcoaly.”  Yes, it is sad to hear but this will be the kind of future thinking process that will create dark, creepy skies.  I don’t readily know what century this would be, but these are the bleak times, my friends.

     Dogs don’t really understand our behavior, (past, present or future), so some of them will adapt to the oceans just to get away from us.  These dogs will propel themselves through the waters with shiny metal fins, grown from their soft, furry bodies.  Unfortunately for them, they will have to surface to visit the glass domes, every now and then, to lubricate their fins with natural substances like vegetable and olive oils.  They will not only have formed spouts upon their heads to breath like the whales (an extinct creature by this point) but they will all have submarine-like periscopes on their heads that rotate 360 degrees to see above the surface of the water. 

     Diet wise, these advanced canines exist on protons, neutrons, electrons, and krill.  Their lives will not be entirely hassle-free, as they will have to battle the mighty octopus and the giant squid.  It may be tricky to bark under water to frighten an opponent, but through the adaptation process of evolution, these future water dogs will do it—and do it menacingly!  Life will not be all fraught with burden, for there will be plusses for some of these dogs too, especially Labs and Golden Retrievers.  Even Goldendoodles.  They love water—and they will also love water in the future.  What fun it will be to spend the entire day retrieving sea stars and clams…and throwing them out into the depths…and retrieving them back again…and throwing them… 

     So you see, the future will bring us humans and dogs many lessons in life.  Though it is best to learn from history, (as is often repeats itself), we can just learn again about our mistakes—in a different time period.  And history is also cyclical, so there will be a time in the future that will be happy and carefree, where we will create new synthetic air and enjoy breathing again.

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