THE SUB-ATOMIC
SUBMARINE DOGS
In the future things
start to get strange. Around the
time period where our earth is so polluted that we humans take to living under
big glass domes with filtered air, some smart dogs begin to grow mechanical
fins and go back to the water from whence they came. Sort of like a platypus—but not. This is living proof of the Theory of Evolution and dogs
seem to adapt much better than their human counterparts.
To paint a better
picture of this mess, let me first describe the situation we humans will get
ourselves into. In the future,
before we successfully colonize the Moon, Mars and Jupiter, our ozone layer
will become completely destroyed and our grotesquely cluttered air will basically
become our new ozone layer, because it’s really, really dirty! Oh yes, we will have a few
conveniences, like being transported from one place to another on movable
sidewalks, food pills, conversing with friends and family in holographic form,
and those big glass domes will definitely protect us from the dangerous laser
beams shot out of evil-minded alien spacecrafts. (Those would probably be from the “Grays,” not the
“Clears.”)
You see, in this
future time, we will have run out of electricity and other invisible energy
sources that I don’t understand. The amateur human mindset will just sort of
revert backwards, since most of our scientists will have choked to death on the
bad air. These humans will say,
“To hell with creating solutions!
Let’s just go back to burning coal. We did it before and we can do it again. Coal is good for us. It makes our teeth all charcoaly.” Yes, it is sad to hear but this will be
the kind of future thinking process that will create dark, creepy skies. I don’t readily know what century this
would be, but these are the bleak times, my friends.
Dogs don’t really
understand our behavior, (past, present or future), so some of them will adapt
to the oceans just to get away from us.
These dogs will propel themselves through the waters with shiny metal
fins, grown from their soft, furry bodies. Unfortunately for them, they will have to surface to visit
the glass domes, every now and then, to lubricate their fins with natural
substances like vegetable and olive oils.
They will not only have formed spouts upon their heads to breath like
the whales (an extinct creature by this point) but they will all have
submarine-like periscopes on their heads that rotate 360 degrees to see above
the surface of the water.
Diet wise, these advanced canines exist on
protons, neutrons, electrons, and krill.
Their lives will not be entirely hassle-free, as they will have to battle
the mighty octopus and the giant squid.
It may be tricky to bark under water to frighten an opponent, but
through the adaptation process of evolution, these future water dogs will do
it—and do it menacingly! Life will
not be all fraught with burden, for there will be plusses for some of these
dogs too, especially Labs and Golden Retrievers. Even Goldendoodles.
They love water—and they will also love water in the future. What fun it will be to spend the entire
day retrieving sea stars and clams…and throwing them out into the depths…and
retrieving them back again…and throwing them…
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