"I rememba' the good ol' days when we dogs ate garbage and dirt. There was none of this newfangled Chuck Wagon or Gravy Train--where you mixed water with the crunchies to make "gravy." What the hell kinda horsefeathers is that? And I rememba' a smart dog never slept in his owners bed 'cause they had more fleas in that there mattress then on the floor. And ya didn't have no squeaky toys neither. You made yer own toys. I once saw some kids playin' Kick The Can, so I went out and found the rustiest, grittiest can I could find and I carried the filthy thing with me fer days. (sniff sniff) I loved that ol' can. Wish it was still with me."
~Ol' Henry
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