DOGS OF PREHISTORY (AZTEC DOGS!):

THE XOLOITZCUINTLE: THE NAKED ONE

     So you think you know quite a bit about the Xoloitzcuintle?  I sure don’t.  I can’t even pronounce it.  But I do know a little bit about this exotic creature.  The Xoloitzcuintle (or “Xolo,” as the in-crowd slangs it) is a direct descendant of the Dinosaur Dogs themselves!  Yes, it is true!  Scientists everywhere were extremely excited when they stumbled onto this momentous discovery of great import.  So excited, they threw the biggest scientist party of all times…test tubes, beakers, balloons and all!!!

     The Xoloitzcuintle, or Mexican Hairless Dog, has been known to exist in Mexico for over 3000 years.  (Now that’s a long time!)  The famous Aztec legend goes that the God Xolotl created the Xolo from a scrap of the Bone of Life.  It is widely known that dogs do love bones so this must’ve been quite a special coming out for this hairless breed of canine.  Sacred to the Aztecs, this loyal and very naked dog guided their owners’ souls through the Realms of the Underworld—plus, they were just cool and crazy to look at.  The ancient people of Mexico were just wild about them!

     Now you may say this is only mythology, and you are correct.  This is where the scientists come in.  Late in the 1800’s, (19^th Century for the peoples of Great Britain), when an over-abundant number of archeological digs were going on, a young adventurer named Thaddeus Phineas Willabottom unearthed the remains of a ridiculously HUGE Xoloitzcuintle.  (Well, actually his low-paid South American diggers exhumed the ancient creature, but that’s beside the point.)  It was a treasure more sensational than the tomb of King Tut.  You can imagine the excitement as young Thaddeus glued the giant bones of the beast together in his Victorian Era tent.  When he finished, he was completely awestruck by the keen resemblance of this skeletal wonder to the naked Xolo dogs scampering gleefully around his excavation site.

     This is how scientists know for certain that dogs have a direct connection with dinosaurs.  The Xoloitzcuintle was once a big as the dinosaurs themselves.  Size goes a long way when theories need to be proven—and the Xolo bones of the 1800’s proves this theory beyond a shadow of a doubt.  This cannot be the only fossil example in existence and it is predicted that more of these skeletons will be found.  It is also believed that other scaly-skinned, naked Dinosaur Dogs once roamed the earth in numerous proportions.  We just haven’t found them yet.

     And so, we are blessed with ancient, hairless descendants of Dinosaur Dogs.  The Xoloitzcuintle may appear a bit strange and startling at first, but it is rich in history and lineage.  These are friendly, social dogs and make good pets.  Always remember to slather large amounts of hand cream on your Xolo’s tender skin and clothe it in protective costumes to shelter its naked body from the damaging rays of the sun.  We don’t want our Dogs of Prehistory to become extinct!