THE XOLOITZCUINTLE:
THE NAKED ONE
So you think you know
quite a bit about the Xoloitzcuintle?
I sure don’t. I can’t even
pronounce it. But I do know a
little bit about this exotic creature.
The Xoloitzcuintle (or “Xolo,” as the in-crowd slangs it) is a direct
descendant of the Dinosaur Dogs themselves! Yes, it is true!
Scientists everywhere were extremely excited when they stumbled onto
this momentous discovery of great import.
So excited, they threw the biggest scientist party of all times…test
tubes, beakers, balloons and all!!!
The Xoloitzcuintle,
or Mexican Hairless Dog, has been known to exist in Mexico for over 3000
years. (Now that’s a long time!) The famous Aztec legend goes that the
God Xolotl created the Xolo from a scrap of the Bone of Life. It is widely known that dogs do love
bones so this must’ve been quite a special coming out for this hairless breed
of canine. Sacred to the Aztecs, this
loyal and very naked dog guided their owners’ souls through the Realms of the
Underworld—plus, they were just cool and crazy to look at. The ancient people of Mexico were just
wild about them!
Now you may say this
is only mythology, and you are correct.
This is where the scientists come in. Late in the 1800’s, (19th Century for the peoples
of Great Britain), when an over-abundant number of archeological digs were
going on, a young adventurer named Thaddeus Phineas Willabottom unearthed the
remains of a ridiculously HUGE Xoloitzcuintle. (Well, actually his low-paid South American diggers exhumed
the ancient creature, but that’s beside the point.) It was a treasure more sensational than the tomb of King
Tut. You can imagine the
excitement as young Thaddeus glued the giant bones of the beast together in his
Victorian Era tent. When he
finished, he was completely awestruck by the keen resemblance of this skeletal
wonder to the naked Xolo dogs scampering gleefully around his excavation site.
This is how
scientists know for certain that dogs have a direct connection with dinosaurs. The Xoloitzcuintle was once a big as
the dinosaurs themselves. Size
goes a long way when theories need to be proven—and the Xolo bones of the
1800’s proves this theory beyond a shadow of a doubt. This cannot be the only fossil example in existence and it
is predicted that more of these skeletons will be found. It is also believed that other
scaly-skinned, naked Dinosaur Dogs once roamed the earth in numerous
proportions. We just haven’t found
them yet.
And so, we are
blessed with ancient, hairless descendants of Dinosaur Dogs. The Xoloitzcuintle may appear a bit
strange and startling at first, but it is rich in history and lineage. These are friendly, social dogs and
make good pets. Always remember to
slather large amounts of hand cream on your Xolo’s tender skin and clothe it in
protective costumes to shelter its naked body from the damaging rays of the
sun. We don’t want our Dogs of
Prehistory to become extinct!
